Emotional Responses and Counseling Counter Responses

When engaged in a counseling interview, employees may demonstrate strong emotions. The following presents general guidance to assist workplace counselors in responding to emotion and to positively focus the emotion and the response.

Employee response: hostile and angry

The underlying feelings and motivations may be:

• pain
• anger
• disappointment
• relief

The manager, in turn, might handle the employee s reaction with these responses:

• Summarize what you have heard in a tentative manner: It sounds like you are pretty angry about this.
• Avoid confronting the anger or becoming defensive.
• Remain objective; stick to the facts, and give the employee helpful information.

Employee response: defensive and bargaining

The underlying feelings and motivations may be:

• guilty
• afraid
• uncertain
• disbelief

The manager, in turn, might handle the employee s reaction with these responses:

• Let the employee know you realize this is difficult for him or her, as well as for yourself.
• Don t get involved in any bargaining discussions.
• Offer reassurance (if possible), and connect this process to the overall counseling process.

Employee response: formal and procedural

The underlying feelings and motivations may be:

• vengeful
• suppressed
• controlled
• unbelieving

The manager, in turn, might handle the employee s reaction with these responses:

• Allow the employee freedom to ask any questions as long as they pertain to his or her situation.
• Try to avoid side issues and discussion of political motivations.
• Keep the tone formal.

Employee response: stoic

The underlying feelings and motivations may be:

• shock
• disbelief
• numbness

The manager, in turn, might handle the employee s reaction with these responses:

• Communicate to the employee that you recognize his or her shock, defer details for another time if the employee prefers.
• Ask if there are any specific questions. If not, arrange for follow-up at a specific time.

Employee response: crying and sobbing

The underlying feelings and motivations may be:

• sadness
• grief
• worry
• fear

The manager, in turn, might handle the employee s reaction with these responses:

• Give the employee an opportunity to cry, if that occurs. Just offer some tissue.
• Avoid inane advice like what are you crying about, it s not that important.
• When the employee regains his or her composure, press on with the facts and explain next step in the counseling process.

Reprinted with permission. © CCH